I know you have an image of something you want to achieve, a better version of you or a better set of circumstances you want to have in your future. Between that future self and where you currently stand is very often a feeling of fear.
Depending on who you are, you might have fear of failing, fear of being judged by others, fear of seeming foolish, or fear of wasting your time and resources just to name a few. At some point or another, we all feel these fears if we are on a path that leads to our own growth. These fears are deeply rooted in our survival instincts. In the past, in order to survive, we needed to not be cast aside by the group.
This fear follows many of us throughout our lives. We seek approval from the people in our life who we see as influential. These people may be our parents, our managers and bosses or business contacts. I have a challenge for you. Wake up and become aware to the fact that this very fear may be the obstacle that keeps you from really going after your most important goals. These are the goals that align with who you are, with your inner voice and make use of the gifts and talents that are unique to you.
Many years ago, as a young man I had a friend who I will call Mike. I greatly admired him because he had the ability to spontaneously start casual conversations with the most beautiful women in the room. My admiration came because his ability stood in contrast with my fear of approaching the same beautiful women. I had the fear of failing of being shot down or dismissed. In essence I had a doubt in my own ability. That thought filled my mind so that I was not able to be present in the moment. That is until I set out on an experiment.
One day, while in a club, I decided to set a goal of being turned down by 20 women. The rule was that I had to be respectful and personable and spontaneous. If I was able to have a good conversation and dance, the rule was that after 3 minutes, I had to thank the young lady and walk away. This day shattered some of my incorrect core beliefs. First of all I never made it to 20 and I had the time of my life. Because I was always on the dance floor with different women, laughing and talking, other women wondered who I was. Shortly after that, I had women asking me to dance.
I learned some valuable lessons which still serve me to this day. First of all I learned that actual failure is not as painful as the anticipated failure that I imagine in my mind. I also learned that failure is part of the path to success. How can you be the heavy weight champion boxer of the world if you are not willing to go through the pain of loss? In business, we often expect to have one idea, never fail at it and make a million dollars. This just doesn’t make sense. Failure is part of the path to success. Remember that failure is the feedback you need to recalibrate yourself on the way to success.
Another lesson was that the game is not the end result, the game is the process along the way. The process is the approach, the feedback, the recalibration and then the new updated approach based on new information.
Lastly and most importantly, the path of entrepreneurship is a path to internal transformation. It is a path to examine the self. It is a path to follow a way to obtain external validation from the market based on your internal value system and how you have learned to navigate the world. This is true, only if you are not purely chasing the dollar. When your internal transformation is tied to how you make a living and how you serve society in a way that does not compromise your soul, then you have embraced a path to freedom.
May 24, 2021