No perfect marriage
I am sure you know that there is no perfect recipe for a perfect marriage. Also, relationships vary widely from couple to couple. Marriages have ups and downs, challenging times, good times and times with a lot of growth and change. Like anything that matters in your life, a marriage takes work, devotion and it is something that you feed and nurture to ensure that it grows. When things are wrong in a relationship, there may be many different reasons for this. There could be a difference of opinion, and a lack of genuine connection, lack of feeling understood, respected, appreciated or loved. This list of 5 things will hopefully serve as a reminder to do the things that lead to a great relationship. My hope is that you find value in at least one of these ideas to try out in your relationship to help make it the best it can be.
5 keys to a good marriage
- Negotiate – Be upfront about what you want and need. So many problems are caused by people expecting their partner to just know what you need and want and always deliver it on time. Different people feel validated in different ways, do you like, praise, affection, encouragement, understanding? Now communicate that and find out what your partner needs. This is huge in all relationships. So many problems are caused when people walk away with a different understanding of the situation.
- Have meaningful conversations – So many relationships are based on trivial conversations. Some marriages start out like that and others become that way over time. In these instances, every conversation becomes about managing your life like stopping at the grocery store, buying gas, or picking up the dry-cleaning. Talk about your interaction with others, things that grab your attention, realizations you have ideas or images that you are drawn to.
- Share from the heart – What are your dreams , fears and desires? What things do you appreciate about your life together? Where would you like for your life to be in 5 years? Sometimes couples do not share with each other what they are hoping to move toward in life. When they finally find out, they realize they have been living life with different expectations. Understand your partners dream and ask how you can help them move toward that. Get on the same page and respect a different point of view.
- Take time to just have fun together – Laugh together, explore a new place together, discover new things together and be in the moment as you do those things. So much about good meaningful connection is centered around shared experiences that are new and cause you to get out of your routine and pay attention. Life is not all about structure and getting things done. Sometimes you have to let your hair down and be silly together.
- Build each other up – Tell your spouse you appreciate them, enjoy being with them and are grateful they are in your life. Remember that they are being generous in sharing their life with you. See that as a gift and thank them for that gift. Gratitude is so powerful in creating genuine connection between all types of relationships. When you build up your partner, it helps to dissolve past resentment and helps in moving on from past mistakes, arguments or negative feelings.
People usually don’t need help in meeting or in falling in love. People often need help in making love last. These 5 things can serve as a new spark of energy to help love last in your home. Read, comment and add to the list.